the mess i made
by qaby
Summary: JA. I should've called you out, I should've said your name, I should've turned around, I should've looked again.


**A/N: I love these two together sooo much. Last scene in 1x17 shattered my fangirling heart into a million pieces. Let's hope these two find their way back to each other soon enough. Angst was necessary, and I couldn't keep from including the smallest hint of Damon/Elena in here...c'mon, even Jeremy notices!!! Story title comes from the song by Parachute.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned The Vampire Diaries, you wouldn't see Ian Somerhalder on screen, because I'd keep him all to myself. :P**

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He spots a flurry of dark curly hair out of his peripheral and he turns instantly, narrowing his eyes in the brunette's direction, but slumps his shoulders when he finds that it wasn't who he hoped.

"Get me a water, Jack. Please."

The young bartender turned and gave a thumbs-up with a grin, going to grab him a water bottle, and Jeremy shook his head slightly, chuckling at the guy's seemingly never-ending optimism. When he felt a vibration in his pocket, he sighed and dug his phone out.

_1 New Message: Elena_

_I'm going out. Be back soon so Jenna doesn't get worried. Be safe Jer._

He rolled his eyes at his sister's insistence of letting him know of her whereabouts at all times. Unlike her, he wasn't worried, because he was sure Elena knew how to take care of herself well enough. He still suspected that she was going to be out with that Damon guy.

Jeremy noticed the way she'd been spending a lot more time with him than with Stefan lately, and though he said nothing on the matter, he was almost positive his sister held feelings for him, though he'd never bring it up, because he knew Elena would instantly call him crazy and deny it. And it was her life, and he had his own problems anyway so _whatever_...

He hadn't heard from Anna ever since she discovered the only reason he wanted to turn was to be reunited with Vicki, and he didn't blame her. Jeremy was smart enough to deduce that Anna must've thought he wanted to turn to be with_ her _forever, and he desperately wanted to apologize. He _did_ want to be with her. He _does _want to be with Anna.

He still misses Vicki and has the occasional case of grief, but he thinks himself stupid for wanting to become a vampire to be with a girl who didn't even love him yet. So right now, he's hoping to be with Anna and stay human, if she ever even talks to him again, that is.

He strains a smile at Jack when he comes back with his water, and goes back to sulking.

He sighs, turning around to examine his surroundings at the Mystic Grill, and narrows his eyes when he spots Tyler shooting pool. His eyebrows knit together when Tyler, all smiles, goes and bends down to kiss a short brunette, cupping her face in his hands.

When they pull apart, the brunette's eyes drift to Jeremy's, and the world stops.

Anna.

_His_ Anna.

His Anna was kissing _Tyler_.

Something was definitely not right with the world.

Jeremy saw the way Anna's wide brown gaze widened when she catches sight of him, the way her eyes seem to hold something akin to longing, the way her jaw tenses and her eyebrows knit together.

He feels it. That connection. She feels it. That electricity.

They were immediately drawn to each other, no matter the situation they were in, and this was no different.

She wants to run into his arms, tell him how she's only pretending to like Tyler for something her mother was setting up that needed the Lockwoods on their side. She wants to assure him that she never held his love for Vicki against him, that she understands. That she didn't want to turn him because she believes his life is valuable, and that he deserves so much better than to be one of the eternally damned.

She ignores the way he looks so utterly broken, because she's not the one he wants, and he's made that very clear before. She strains a smile back at Tyler, coloring her eyes with false affection once more, which he instantly believes, giving her a smirk in return, putting his hands on her hips and leaning in for another kiss.

She inwardly sighs and curses him for his horrid timing before closing her eyes and reaching up so her lips can meet his. The memory of her kiss with Jeremy in the woods runs through her head, and she finds it much easier to give feeling to the kiss, now having something _real_ to base it on.

At the sight of them kissing once more, Jeremy can't take it. Deciding that there will never be a girl to prefer him over Tyler Lockwood, he gets his jacket and leaves, hating himself for being too blinded by his infatuation with Vicki to see that Anna was what he wanted all along, and now it's too late.

When she pulls away and notices that Jeremy is gone, she tries telling herself that it's for the best, that a relationship with a human would never work out anyway. She excuses herself, telling Tyler she needs to use the ladies' room, but instead goes out to the empty parking lot, just in time to see Jenna's borrowed car turn the corner.

She wipes away the tear that was making its way down her cheeks.

It's the first time she's cried since 1864.

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